Friday, March 20, 2009
You know, Meow Me, I woke up this morning still hugging ur sister.The sound from ur collar bell on her sounds so very familiar.
It was as if I could picture it on you once again. You lying there on my bed once again...
If only... if only...
It felt very different this morning.
You werent there. Not by my bedside.. not in the kitchen room.. Not at the main gate..
No one for me to feed..
I called out for u in the bathroom.. Did you heard me?
When I opened the bathroom door, u werent lying there waiting for me, between the washing machine and the door. I stared for a while.
When I automatically close the toilet door again, I felt the feeling again.
The realization that you aint here anymore. The truth dawned on me again..
There's no longer the need to close the door.. For u wont go into the bathroom anymore. Would you?
When I left the house, you werent there at the gate.
When I came home, you werent there too.
Where were u?
The gate felt so strange without the plastic mesh.. The mesh that ur daddy n me put up for u on 14th Dec 2008.
I thought of u whilst on the way to work. While walking, while on the train.
Couldnt help but think of you. Ur blue eyes.. ur blackish left front paw...
Tears just welled up in my eyes and I had to close them to prevent them from flowing down.
I tried swallowing them.. I tried. I looked up. I tried to think of other stuff.. But all I had was images of you. As I passed by the cats at the chinese medicine shop, I just had to look away. Why cant my dear baby just be like them? Its the same at work. I had to go to the washroom a couple of times. I couldnt help tearing when my colleagues asked abt u. I tried to distract myself. But ended up writing ur name on the paper.. on my calender. I phoned home thrice.. just to check on Po po. Her voice sounded weird in the morning. Remember how close u were to her? How u spend most of ur time with her?
On my way home from work, I wondered, if I were to meet another cat exactly like u, would I want to keep her? My answer was a firm no. Though you and her will look the same, but its not the same. You are unique. You are irreplaceable. There's only one Meow Me. Surprisingly, mum asked me the same question whilst I was having dinner. Perhaps we do have telepathy.. Or were u asking us? With tears in my eyes, I told her the same. Never. There is only enough space in my heart for one Meow Me.
We are goin to the temple tomorrow... to pray for you my dear. To bless u.. for ur safety in heaven. Hope that you have made frens with the rest of the little frens.. Share our love with them... But remember our love for u doesnt stop yesterday.. it doesnt end tomorrow.. its here forever.. never fading... You are a gift to me... A surprise filled with love... a symbol of love.. a giver of love and receiver of love.. My love. You will always be in my heart. Bless u Meow Me...
Labels: Meow Me
3/20/2009 09:48:00 pm
